(Not) Killing in the Name Of....

Despite my username, I am not a Buddhist. At least, not officially. If anything I would call me more Bud-curious. I am still very much at the exploratory stage of my journey and whilst a lot of my interaction with Buddhist teaching has had a positive effect on my life, constantly challenging me to act with more compassion and wisdom on a daily level, I do not feel ready to commit to the path and take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. I especially do not feel ready to undertake the five precepts that all Buddhists must promise to keep. I take these things very seriously and if I made the commitment it would turn my tiny world, as I know it now, upside down. I thought over the next month or so I would like to occasionally do a short blog on each one of the precepts so I can start to work through what they mean to me. So today, here are my reflections on precept number one.

For those of you who don’t know, the five Buddhist precepts are:

1. I undertake the precept to refrain from taking the life (killing) of living beings.

2. I undertake the precept to refrain from stealing. (lit. "taking what is not offered")

3. I undertake the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct (adultery, rape, exploitation, etc).

4. I undertake the precept to refrain from false speech (lying).

5. I undertake the precept to refrain from intoxicants which lead to heedlessness.

They don’t look like a big deal on the surface really, do they? Logical good advice just like the Ten Commandments but actually quite lenient because there are only five to keep! However, the more I think about them the more radical they are and the more a sincere commitment to stick to them, in spirit as well as in letter, would absolutely transform me as a person. Let’s examine the implications of the first precept:

I take this precept to mean I must not intentionally harm, as well as simply kill other creatures. The most significant thing this means to me is that I can no longer kill wasps or snakes or another creature that causes me annoyance or worse, danger. This to me is huge. I couldn’t get through a summer without my fly swat; such is my phobia of wasps and bees. To voluntarily take away that power I have over other creatures, to vow not to kill even if my own life was in danger breaks me out in a cold sweat. It means, in practical terms, that if a wasp lands on my arm I just have to let it be. I have to sit there and let the black and yellow evil fucker clamber all over me, stinging at will. If a spider crawls up my leg I have to be still and calm. If a snake runs over my foot I can’t attack it to protect myself. Man, this is rich panic attack territory, right here. I’d like it put on the record that I think I do at least agree with this precept, in principle at least. I think it goes without saying that a lot of harm has been done to this planet by the whole monotheistic Adam and Eve garden bullshit. Giving us hierarchical superiority over the other animals like that was always a bad idea in my book and it has been used throughout history to justify the most horrific of abuses of power. In taking the vow it’s just the practice that I know I’d really struggle with.

In terms of eating animals, in Buddhist circles opinion is really divided on this one. Some traditions eat meat, some don’t. Personally speaking if I took this precept I probably would become vegetarian. I know killing for food is different ethically than killing for other reasons, but it somehow doesn’t sit right with me to be all serious about compassion for living beings, and then tucking in to my Turkey roast on a Sunday enjoying the crackly skin of a bird that has had a shit life, a horrible death when at the end of the day it is possible to have a healthy vegetarian diet. However, and this is where the selfish part comes in, I love meat. I love its taste and texture, its flavour and smell. I just don’t know if I’m ready to turn my back on spare ribs and king prawns. Is that so bad?

Humans are obviously living beings too, and in reality are much more of a threat than any silly little spider. To me taking this precept would eliminate me from harming another human, even in self defense. Even if that person is doing harmful deeds; like hurting my family or friends. It would involve being absolutely committed to a life of non violence in a violent world. This is massive in its implications. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to stick to it.

As well as avoiding direct harm of people and animals in your own personal actions I think this precept calls implicitly for avoidance of industries and products that cause harm and destruction to people and planet. This is your basic ethical living that is very fashionable to talk about now (less so to actually do, I feel) and includes avoiding investing in or buying from companies that are involved in the arms trade, pillaging of natural world resources, exploitative labour, animal cruelty or anything that causes harm or loss of life to another living being. I try hard now to live as ethically as possible, but if I took this precept I would have to make a lot more changes from where I shop to the bank I’m with to the food I eat. I would have to think a lot more and have a lot more integrity about these kinds of issues, rather than pay lip service to them and then still buy nestle coffee because it’s on 2 for 1 in Sainsbury’s.

There’s much more that could be said about precept number 1, I have no doubt. I am sure books have been written about books on the subject. This is just meant to be a quick sketch from my point of view. If I ever do take these vows, I want to mean them, all of them, and to be clear about the implications that they will have in my life. Thinking about them is a good starting point, but I’m still a long way off from getting up there and making a public commitment to such radical changes in my life and world view. Right now, I’m at the stage of thinking the think and talking the talk. It is going to take a lot of bravery and hefty decisions before I finally get my rucksack on my back, pull my cagool on tight and set off on the rocky winding path of walking the Buddhist walk.