Respect

This is one of the best articles about Nirvana that I have ever read. I used to want to write an article about this band, their complex messages and what they meant to me. I always put off doing it, now I don't think I ever will. Forksplit has said it all for me and more. She is simply a kick ass writer with a voice stronger than most bloggers I have ever read. If you haven't checked her out on my links section yet, then do. If, by any chance you are a Nirvana fan then please read this. You will not regret it. I loved this article because it was written by someone who was genuinely touched by Kurt and whose life he shaped in a similarly deep (yet not always healthy) way to mine. I have not listened to Nirvana in a couple of years, like Forksplit I have majorly overplayed them and they now seem to belong to a bygone era. But reading this reminded me of how much they were a part of the landscape of my life for a long long time. It's beyond nostalgia, reading this made me feel like for a split second I was connecting with all those spine tingling sensations I felt when I first heard the opening chord to Serve the Servants or saw for the first time the famous picture of Kurt wearing too much eyeliner in the markets in southern Spain on a summer holiday and not being able to tear my eyes away. It brought back the memories in a way that some corporate music journalist would struggle to do. For that I am grateful and I might even go and listen to 'All Apologies' in a quiet corner just out of respect for the great man and the way he shaped a generation of misfits.

Muso

Recently Owen has taken to calling me a ‘muso’. He usually says it whilst rolling his eyes and poking me in the flab on my stomach. He soon got wind of the fact that this label annoyed me greatly and started using it all the more. Now he uses it with a glee so infuriating it makes me want to smash his face in. Every time I innocently mention a band I like he says; ‘is that the hip word on muso street?’ or ‘oh really? They’re good are they oh wise muso one?’ or just plain and simple ‘Shut up you fucking muso, I know you like them - there hasn’t been anything else coming out of the stereo for the past seven days.’

My retort (through gritted teeth): 'I am not a fucking muso.'

Reasons I am not a muso:

1. I do not have an Encyclopaedic knowledge of the trainspotting music stuff, my knowledge about record labels, artwork, managers, technical production, famous tours and limited edition singles even of my most favourite bands is slim to none.

2 I do not worship vinyl and proclaim it’s the only true way to hear music. I like my CD’s. Mp3’s are even better, and you don’t have to trudge round obscure shops in Manchester in the pouring rain on a Saturday afternoon to collect and listen to them.

3. I do not masturbate over mint condition 1960’s editions of the NME and Rolling Stone. I don’t in fact, read music magazines full stop; I think they are just big corrupt advertising vehicles mostly full of egotistical and talentless bitter male writers who very rarely have anything interesting to say at all. I read more grassroots zines and weblogs but even then I mostly laugh at all the musos who take it all far too seriously.

4. Some of the bands I like are obscure but I am not attracted to obscurity for its own sake. I do not feel cheated when one of my favourite bands becomes successful- in fact I say ‘good for them’ and keep on liking them, even if they do start having number one hit singles a la the streets and the arctic monkeys. I am quite happy to like a band that is tremendously popular as long as they are good.

5. I am not competitive when it comes to music, live and let live is what I say. I get sick of these musos who get into the whole ‘bragging’ thing:

Muso 1: ‘Dogbeard…yeah…well I saw them back in their peak, in 1992 when they performed an impromptu session on a park bench and then vomited in their guitar.’

Muso 2: ‘Oh really? Well I saw them a year before that in the good old days when they performed a homecoming gig at the tap and spile- and they did a live acoustic version of chickenfeatherblues by the spaghetti heads and then afterwards the lead singer ate the microphone.’

That kind of shit just makes me want to eat my own head, or at least bash their two idiotic ones together until they are unconscious.

6. I would never, ever judge a person or a friendship on their taste in music. My best friend loves Brittany spears and James blunt yet we’ve never had one argument about it. If she wants to listen to horrible cheesy pop that’s her prerogative, but I can keep in perspective that this doesn’t, whatever musos might think, make Marie a superficial or brainless person, she is in fact one of the deepest most complex thinkers I have ever talked with. She just doesn’t get her kicks in the same place I do, that’s all. People who judge people on what they listen to must miss out on so many friendships, I don’t want to let anyone slip through the net.

7. I am not obsessed with mix tapes and compilations. I make the odd one or two but this is a side of muso behaviour that I have never really gotten into.

8. When you ask me what my favourite song of a particular artist is, I am much more likely to say one of their singles rather than some obscure B side on a Japanese limited edition import.

9. I do not sneer when I disagree with someone’s musical opinion.

10. I have fully grasped the concept that music can sometimes just be background noise or something fun to do a silly dance to in the living room or mime with a hairbrush in front of the mirror- I get sick of people who take it all a bit too seriously. Music is there to enjoy and entertain as well as all the deeper stuff.

11. I do not quote lyrics obsessively and fastidiously. In fact, even when I try to remember them, I usually forget. Even when I was playing songs that I had written in a band, I had to write the lyrics down on scraps of paper for when my mind went blank when I was performing.

12. I can stop talking about music. I am not one of these musos who keep on going and going even when everyone else has fallen asleep. I do talk about it quite a lot, but, there are other things in life as well, ya know?

13. I have never been to a festival

14. I have never been to a ‘secret’ gig.

15. I wouldn’t have a clue as to what the top ten albums right now are. Let alone the top ten indie albums.

16. I don’t listen to the radio for the same reasons I don’t read magazines. They are just corporate sponsored music pushers who play the same bands and songs again and again. I don’t want to fill my head with their sycophantic crap.

So, thus proves I am not a fucking muso. Whatever Owen says.

Yes, I love, if not adore my music and it’s true, high fidelity is one of my all time favourite books. I am familiar with quite a lot of musical artists and am pretty picky in my tastes. When I’m not busy living life I may listen to four or five new albums a day. I find it nearly impossible to be in silence and I am surgically attached to my Mp3 player. I do indulge in totally nerdy behaviour like reading biographies of bands/ musicians and downloading their entire back catalogue, listening to each seminal song as I get to that part in the book. Even though I am not even in a band at the moment I am constantly writing down songs and lyrics for the day I have courage to one day start singing again. I quite often start conversations with friends and even strangers: what music are you into at the moment?

It’s not that I don’t admit to being a little bit obsessed with music, you see. But the macho muso culture is something I want no part of. So sure, I say to anyone who’s into their music; come round to my house, chill out and we’ll listen to some tunes. We’ll debate them passionately, laugh, weep, reminisce, hug, shout and sing together. We’ll revel in each others musical tastes, I’m always open to ideas and willing to learn. Say anything you like, anything at all and I won’t judge you. You can even say that Eels are a one trick pony or that Joni Mitchell can’t sing. But if you dare to call me a muso I swear I will not be held responsible for my actions and you might find yourself leaving with several less teeth than when you arrived.

The Political is Personal.

At the moment I am busy listening to Tori Amos’ latest offering, American Doll Posse. I have been excited by the concepts behind it for some time after seeing and reading interviews with her in different places (including ‘Loose Women’ of all programmes- I don’t think they quite knew what to make of her!) On a first listen I am pretty impressed, but I imagine as with most of Tori’s work, it will be a grower.

Things I like about Tori Amos:

• She is, first and foremost, a musician; a classically trained pianist to be exact. She is also a songwriter, and, when she’s on form, one of the finest ones in contemporary music. This as opposed to being a singer of other peoples songs (usually men’s) like so many world class women artists are, or worse, being foremostly a model or dancer with not much musical talent.

• She is an interesting character with strong opinions about life, art and the world. I don’t always agree with her, I sometimes find her pretentious and annoying, but I can never tear my attention away from her when I watch her perform, or in an interview.

• Her lyrics rock the house. She is a poet who is not afraid to experiment with language, form and style.

• She is unashamedly political.

• She is not afraid to be herself and since ‘Little Earthquakes’ was released has fought for control of her own sound and image in an age where artists are more and more dictated to by record companies. Kudos to someone who would rather turn down their first significant record deal rather than have her record and musical vision massacred.

• She can be silly, whimsical, earnest and poignant within the same song, sometimes even in the same breath.

• She makes me think

• I like her voice.

• She tackles taboos.

• For example: She explores female sexuality in an honest, genuine way. This is all too rare in an age where despite an abundance of page three models and Ann summers shops, an exploration of woman’s true sexual psychology and drive is a deeply taboo subject.

• She has a sense of fashion and aesthetic style that even I can appreciate is interesting.

• She pours scorn on the fickle ‘celebrity’ lifestyle.

• I believe she genuinely cares about her fans.

• She pushes the boundaries of her own music in her live performances, and never plays the same show twice.

I could go on, but won’t. Anyway, when I am excited about an album, especially an album from an artist with a lot of depth, I like to read a bit about it first. So before listening to American Doll Posse I went on Wikipedia to see what it had to say. The thing that really caught my eye was this quote from Amos herself:

‘The main message of my new album is: the political is personal. This as opposed to the feminist statement from years ago that the personal is political. I know it has been said that it goes both ways, but we have to turn it around. We have to think like that. I’m now taking on subjects that I could not have been able to take on in my twenties. With Little Earthquakes I took on more personal things. But if you are going to be an American woman in 2007 with a real view on what is going on, you need to be brave, and you need to know that some people won’t want to look at it.’

Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the first time I have heard this kind of argument. Recently, Natasha Walter wrote an entire book on the subject, and there has been (especially post 9/11) a call from within the feminist world to become more linked with wider issues than feminism has traditionally focused on. More and more articles and books are being written by feminist authors on a diverse range of subjects, including what I call ‘big P’ politics.

I say, right on. To this direction, to all of this.

It’s not that I don’t believe that the personal is political, I blatantly do. If it is already not obvious from the small amount of posts I have written, then I will spell it out: thinking about the significance of my day to day actions is of tremendous importance to me. I believe that the devil is in the detail, as they say, and huge victories can be won by focusing on what might initially seem like small aspects of your daily routine. You know, the whole Rosa Parks thing. The greatest injustices, I have always found, often manifest themselves in a whole range of day to day inequalities and it has only been by reclaiming this personal sphere, and politicising it, that feminists have managed to make the gains they have.

However, I read a lot of feminist blogs and over the last couple of years have been more and more concerned by the fact that the overwhelming majority of posts, especially by young feminists, seem to revolve around traditionally ‘female’ spheres. For example, feminist posts on fashion, makeup, food, family, relationships, motherhood, domestic chores, childcare, body hair and at the more radical end of the spectrum, sexual issues like abortion, pornography and rape can all be found in abundance. But the feminist bloggers and journalists who are writing about law (that’s not abortion law), science, Party and international Politics, global news stories, religion, critiques of capitalism, human rights, war and conflict, technology, space travel, economics, philosophy etc. Where are they? I don’t come across them very often, and when I do it’s the same few names again and again. I find this compartmentalising of the feminist movement very worrying. Life is a rich tapestry, yet the vast majority of the feminist movement seems to just focus on things designated as ‘women’s issues’, and by focusing on such narrow topics we seem to get into such wars amongst ourselves.

Sometimes, the personal can become too political. We get obsessed with tiny little details and lose sight of the bigger picture. We turn on each other and forget that there are different ways to live life, different ways to express feminism. We forget completely the concept of sisterhood, and instead behave more like cliques at a high school, obsessed with dogma, labels and outward codes of behaviour rather than the true spirit of liberation. Anti porn or sex positive, Pro choice or pro life, to wed or not to wed? Yes, the personal is political and I’m not disagreeing that these issues are important to many many women (including me). However, I’m right there with Tori on this one, there is so much more to the feminist vision than simply debating for hours whether having hairy armpits make you an authentic feminist or a hardcore loony that gives the women’s movement a bad reputation. After all, there surely comes a time where you have to say to yourself a hairy armpit is just that. Women are dying and starving all over the world. Atrocity after atrocity is being committed on our behalf and in our names. There comes a time that, as western feminists we should stop fighting amongst ourselves. Then, with or without a Venus razor, we should stand up, united, and do something to help.